In my inane need to collect things, and as part of some cork sourcing I was working on, I came across a site that offered me the opportunity to become something the likes of which I didn’t even think possible. Fame? No. Fortune? Nope. I could become, with the passing of a simple test, a certified Cork Dork.
The cork information and education program offered online at Real Cork USA, technically qualifies you to be a certified cork expert, but I prefer Cork Dork. The simple questionnaire, approved by the Portuguese Cork Association, tests your knowledge of cork harvest, production, and use.
Here’s Real Cork USA’s take on what they’re trying to accomplish:
Becoming knowledgeable on cork is incredibly important. In learning and understanding the unique and complex characteristics of this natural product you will also consequently increase your perspective and knowledge on wine. After reading through the information available on this website please complete the Cork Certification Course. If you can answer 80% of the questions correctly, you will be a certified cork expert. The questionnaire was designed and approved by APCOR – Portuguese Cork Association – leading the world on cork closure issues. In addition, you’ll be entitled to receiving valuable material on cork to share with your friends, clients, colleagues, students, teachers and family. So please enter your mailing address after completing the questionnaire. Wishing you a corking success!
I couldn’t resist adding such an absurd(ly cool) title to my name, so I took the test and passed with a whopping 96%. I have yet to receive any corky propaganda, either through the mail or through email, and have my fingers crossed that I’ll at least get some sort of cheesy certificate to frame and display as a testament to my endless capacity for useless knowledge.